Except. It turns out that we can't adopt an animal. Because, and I quote, "We won't let you have an animal because you're not German." Us: "But we LIVE here." And then, presumably after hearing themselves speak, they changed it to "Or maybe if you spoke better German ... not to be racist or anything, but this is just our policy."
There is no German race you assholes. Just give me my dog Teddy and my used books and let me go. I have to catch my Mercedes at twenty past the hour.