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This is why I will never be German

19/5/2012

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My Mom sent me an interesting link titled This is Why You're German. Filled with anecdotes along the lines of "You know you're from a small town when ..." I was in full on chuckle territory. I would say 2/3 of the sayings went way over my head.  The ones that didn't, appear below, complete with my take on them.  

You wonder why all those people are standing waiting in line when it's easier to walk straight to the front.

This was the number 1 thing I noticed after moving here.  If you don't keep your eye on the prize, someone will move ahead of you in line without a second thought. You may even get a glare for being SO absentminded. You learn pretty quickly to stand in line with your hands on your hips, elbows out. 

You have absolutely no idea who the von Trapp family are and you can't sing along to any of the Sound of Music film songs.
Maybe this goes without saying?  I was naive enough to think otherwise.  Canadians know how to say "auf wiedersehen" more than any other German phrase because of this movie alone.

You think all houses should have roller shutters (Außen-Jalousie) so it´s nice and dark in your bedroom even in daytime.
These things are god-awful. Rolling down the metal blinds reminds me of prison films. You have no choice about this decor statement. German apartments may not come with kitchens, but they certainly come with these.

You wait for the pedestrian light to turn green before you cross the road for fear of being fined.
This is true and I like it this way. Nothing makes me more anxious than having waiting cars watch as a jiggle/run to make it across the street before they hit me.

You greet everyone in a doctors' waiting room with a friendly "Guten Tag!"

The first time this happened to me, I literally looked over my shoulder to see who this stranger was being so fucking chipper with. Good day??? Really? We're in a DOCTOR'S office.

So, yeah. German 101 for you right here. I've passed the half year mark of living in Germany so I'm practically an expert, wouldn't you say?  

 

1 Comment
Mom
22/5/2012 01:47:08 am

Oh but the jiggle/run to make it across the street before you get hit is SO Hamilton. You have to embrace it! Green lights are for sissies.

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