Have you ever been lost in the woods in rural Germany? Let me tell you, it's fucking terrifying. Those Grimm Brothers weren't stretching any imagination when they talked about Witch's houses, except that there isn't any candy, only murderers. Between the dilapidated structures and the corn fields, we walked for 7 kilometres in the pitch dark. A moonless night, with only the crow's caw to keep us company. (How's that for imagery??)
After dinner we decided to take a "popular" trail in the village of Handorf back to our bus stop. This is where my love of guide books ended in heartbreak. "Popular" could mean so many things, including "deserted in October, you stupid twat."
Trying to reassure two children that we were safe was difficult as we didn't feel it. You really have to feel something to be enthusiastic about it, and that we weren't. So we just kept on trucking, while in my head I knew I could blame Claudia for our murder because the trail was all her idea. Except that I would be murdered, so I couldn't blame ANYBODY. Does the word murder bother anyone? Cause I'm done now.
Finally, we saw a Crucifix in the cornfield so we knew we would be safe. Christ is reassuring. Except when Christ is just a big advertisement for the graveyard that we're suddenly standing beside. I want you to visualize a pretty touristy looking family suddenly start running away with a buggy and attached "Buggy Board". It wasn't pretty.
Eventually we did make it back to our bus stop, Eloise asleep in her buggy, dreaming of candy houses.
After dinner we decided to take a "popular" trail in the village of Handorf back to our bus stop. This is where my love of guide books ended in heartbreak. "Popular" could mean so many things, including "deserted in October, you stupid twat."
Trying to reassure two children that we were safe was difficult as we didn't feel it. You really have to feel something to be enthusiastic about it, and that we weren't. So we just kept on trucking, while in my head I knew I could blame Claudia for our murder because the trail was all her idea. Except that I would be murdered, so I couldn't blame ANYBODY. Does the word murder bother anyone? Cause I'm done now.
Finally, we saw a Crucifix in the cornfield so we knew we would be safe. Christ is reassuring. Except when Christ is just a big advertisement for the graveyard that we're suddenly standing beside. I want you to visualize a pretty touristy looking family suddenly start running away with a buggy and attached "Buggy Board". It wasn't pretty.
Eventually we did make it back to our bus stop, Eloise asleep in her buggy, dreaming of candy houses.
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